Tuesday, 16 December 2014

THE ART OF ESSAY WRITING

4. AVOID REDUNDANCIES

 "I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil" 
                                                                   (Truman Capote) 
     Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. Getting rid of unnecessary words will make your writing clearer and more effective. Be ready and strangle the following redundancies.
1. Redundant Adjectives
2. Redundant Adverbs
3. Redundant Nouns
4. Redundant Prepositions

1. REDUNDANT ADJECTIVES

"When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, 
but kill most of them -- then the rest will be valuable."
(Mark Twin)
1. Actual facts
Example: Listen to the actual facts of the case.
Better: Listen to the facts of the case.
2. Advance warning
Example: The storm hit with no advance warning.
Better: The storm hit with no warning.
3. Armed gunman
Example: An armed gunman robbed the bank today.
Better: A gunman robbed the bank today.
4. Basic necessities
Example: Prepare for disasters by stocking basic necessities.
Better: Prepare for disaster by stocking necessities.
5. Current trend
Example: Some say blogging is a current trend that won't last.
Better: Some say blogging is a trend that won't last.
6. Final conclusion
Example: He came to a final conclusion that he hated his job.
Better: He came to a conclusion that he hated his job.
7. Foreign imports
Example: He believes foreign imports hurt our country's economy.
Better: He believes imports hurt our country's economy.
8. Frozen ice
Example: He fell through the frozen ice.
Better: He fell through the ice.
9. Future plans
Example: What are your future plans for college?
Better: What are your plans for college?
10. General public
Example: The portable bathrooms are for the general public.
Better: The portable bathrooms are for the public.
11. Joint collaboration
Example: The joint collaboration between state and federal agencies failed.
Better: The collaboration between state and federal agencies failed.
12. Mutual cooperation
Example: We need mutual cooperation to succeed.
Better: We need cooperation to succeed.
13. New invention
Example: The new invention would change the world.
Better: The invention would change the world.
14. Past experience
Example: My past experiences are what made me who I am today.
Better: My experiences are what made me who I am today.
15. Personal opinion
Example: It is just my personal opinion.
Better: It is just my opinion.
Notes Prepared By: Prof. Shahbaz Asghar (0333-8602196)

2. REDUNDANT ADVERBS

"I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs........".
                                                                                  (Stephen King, On Writing)

1. Advance forward
Example: The army advanced forward.
Better: The army advanced.
2. Assemble together
Example: Assemble together the parts included in the box.
Better: Assemble the parts included in the box.
3. Blend together
Example: The colours blend together nicely.
Better: The colours blend nicely.
4. Clench tightly
Example: He clenched his teeth tightly.
Better: He clenched his teeth. 
5. Combine together
Example: When you combine together your property with his, you will have over two hundred acres.
Better: When you combine your property with his, you will have over two hundred acres.
6. Completely destroy
Example: Aslam completely destroyed his room.
Better: Aslam destroyed his room.
7. Completely finished
Example: She completely finished buttoning Destiny's dress.
Better: She finished buttoning Destiny's dress.
8. Connect together
Example: Connect together the two wires.
Better: Connect the two wires.
9. Eradicate completely
Example: We must eradicate completely these roaches.
Better: We must eradicate these roaches.
10. May possibly
Example: She may possibly get the job.
Better: She may get the job.
11. Meet together
Example: The two roads meet together at the traffic circle.
Better: The two roads meet at the traffic circle.
12. Originally created
Example: Nobody truly knows when the world was originally created.
Better: Nobody truly knows when the world was created.
13. Personally like
Example: I personally don't like wax museums.
Better: I don't like wax museums.
14. Still persist
Example: If symptoms still persist, call you doctor.
Better: If symptoms persist, call your doctor.
15. Yell loudly
Example: He yelled loudly.
Better: He yelled.
Notes Prepared By: Prof. Shahbaz Asghar (0333-8602196)

3. REDUNDANT NOUNS

The addition of a generic noun after a specific noun is a redundancy; it weakens the specific noun. 

1. Alternative choice
Example: He had no alternative choice but to fight.
Better: He had no alternative but to fight.
2. Ask the question 
Example: Ask the question to your teacher. 
Better: Ask your teacher.
3. Cash money
Example: She did not carry much cash money but credit cards for shopping.
Better: She did not carry much cash but credit cards for shopping. 
4. Crisis situation
Example: Although she is very ill, she has passed the crisis situation.
Better: Although she is very ill, she has passed the crisis. 
5. Emergency situation
Example: She had come prepared for such an emergency situation, but any delay might prove embarrassing.
Better: She had come prepared of such an emergency, but any delay might prove embarrassing.
6. HIV virus
Example: HIV virus infects vital cells in the human immune system.
Better: HIV infects cells in the human immune system.
7. ISBN number
Example: The ISBN number is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit code.
Better: The ISBN is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit code
8. Later time 
Example: Call me at a later time.
Better: Call me later.
9. Means and methods
Example: He used all means and methods to get his work done.
Better: He used all methods to get his work done.
10. Parts and components
Example: CPU, keyboard, monitor and mouse are the major parts and components of a computer.
Better: CPU, keyboard, monitor and mouse are the major parts of a computer.
11. PIN number
Example: PIN number is a numeric password shared between a user and a system.
Better: PIN is a numeric password shared between a user and a system.
12. Present time
Example: He is not available at the present time.
Better: He is not available at present.
13. Source and origin
Example: The sun is the biggest source and origin of heat and light.
Better: The sun is the biggest source of heat and light.
14. Tuna fish
Example: Pregnant women who eat tuna fish can put their unborn children at risk of developing autism.
Better: Pregnant women who eat tuna can put their unborn children at risk of developing autism.
15. Use and implementation
Example: Ayesha provided a bag of money and she made use and implementation of it in her business.
Better: Ayesha provided a bag of money and she made use of it in her business.
Notes Prepared By: Prof. Shahbaz Asghar (0333-8602196)

4. REDUNDANT PREPOSITIONS

Many English verbs are not followed by prepositions. 
1. Add up
Example: Add up your hours and see if you qualify for overtime.
Better: Add your hours and see if you qualify for overtime.
2. Ascend up
Example: Ascend up the steps to reach the top.
Better: Ascend the steps to reach the top.
3. Enter in
Example: Enter in your name and email address.
Better: Enter your name and email address.
4. Fall down
Example: If you fall down, try again.
Better: If you fall, try again.
5. Heat up
Example: Heat up the soup.
Better: Heat the soup.
6. Kneel down
Example: Kneel down before God Almighty.
Better: Kneel before God Almighty.
7. Lift up
Example: Lift up the weight.
Better: Lift the weight.
8. Penetrate into
Example: The bullet can easily penetrate into the wood.
Better: The bullet can easily penetrate the wood.
9. Plunge down
Example: The stock market plunged down today.
Better: The stock market plunged today.
10. Pouring down rain
Example: The pouring down rain ruined the picnic.
Better: The pouring rain ruined the picnic.
11. Protest against
Example: You must protest against tyranny.
Better: You must protest tyranny.
12. Raise up
Example: Raise up the flag.
Better: Raise the flag.
13. Reflect back
Example: This action reflects back his true beliefs.
Better: This action reflects his true beliefs.
14. Retreat back
Example: When sea ice disappears some polar inhabitants advance, whereas others retreat back.
Better: When sea ice disappears some polar inhabitants advance, whereas others retreat.
15. Write down
Example: Write down your name on this sheet of paper.
Better: Write you name on this sheet of paper.
Notes Prepared By: Prof. Shahbaz Asghar (0333-8602196)

EXERCISE
Q. Revise the following sentences to eliminate redundancy. 
(i) Detective search for the true facts is an investigation. 
(ii) The consensus of opinion on the basic fundamentals created the shortest meeting of the year. 
(iii) Even though she had performed the operation a numerous number of times, she still reviewed the basic essentials each ad every day. 
(iv) The first priority appears to be to group together the children than live in close proximity to one another. 
(v) The local residents filled to capacity the new auditorium as they waited to hear the developer recount the past history of the archaeological site. 
(vi) Advance planning can avoid total destruction of a historical site. 
(vii) The accident totally severed the boy's arm. 
(viii) Physical aerobic exercise is recommended for healthy hearts. 
(ix) Modern antiques that have been made recently have been offered at high prices. 
(x) Last of all, I would like to completely finish this exercise before I go to bed. 
(xi) Although my future plans are uncertain, I intend to adhere to my basic and fundamental belief that humans were meant to be lazy. 
(xii) Astonished, the natives stared at the automobile in amazement. 
(xiii) People pay good money and spend hard-earned dollars for labour-saving devices to save time from their busy lives. 
(xiv) Mall researchers often interview and talk to many people who are respondents for their surveys. 
(xv) In a very real sense, the side effects of today's medical discoveries have created many health complications, including results that are not related to drug's purpose. 
(xvi) In point of fact, people who fail to have success in their careers frequently give up too easily and are not tenacious in sticking to their goals. 
(xvii) Thanks to their joint collaboration, the archaeologists found the handwritten manuscript in the destroyed ruins of the monastery.   
(xviii) Her handbag was square in shape. 
(xix) It is usually his custom to visit the houses of the affluent rich. 
(xx) The group wanted to climb up the very summit at the top of the mountain. 
Notes Prepared By: Prof. Shahbaz Asghar (0333-8602196)